I know we’ve talked about this before….
So I’ll keep it short (or try to! Ha!). 😉
High school is not real life. It is merely a period of time that you have to walk through to get to adulthood. Unfortunately, you have to be subjected to some craziness as your peers try to figure things out – just like you’re trying to. I know they look like they have it all together (for the most part). But rest assured they don’t…
Remember when Alice told you she never studied for tests and you were amazed that she pulled off A’s consistently? And some time later when you asked her to do something on a Saturday morning she told you that she has to study for an upcoming test. I’m not sure why she told you she never studies – maybe she enjoys it and it isn’t work for her, maybe she was outright lying…who knows!! That’s not the point. The point is that even though some of your friends make certain things look easy peasy – it’s not necessarily true.
From the outside looking in – most people’s lives appear much easier than they are. You know the saying, “The grass is greener on the other side.” My bet is that every one of your classmates is a bit insecure – and unsure of themselves.
So when you’re trying to gain confidence – please don’t look around you for validation. Because while you’re looking for value from them, they’re looking to you while you’re looking to them and it’s a crazy cycle!
On Sunday Pastor Doug said that, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” How true! Comparing is either going to rob you of your significance and value, or the other person you are comparing yourself to.
How about, instead, looking at things a bit differently?
How about looking at what God says about you?
He created you.
He loves you.
He values you.
He has faith and confidence in your abilities.
He doesn’t judge you unfairly against a false/unrealistic standard.
Think about this for a second.
If you made a person… how would you judge them?
Would you see their potential?
Would you have compassion for their mistakes?
Would you nudge them in the right direction?
Would you judge them according to who you are or who they are?
Oh, the questions could go on forever! Look back at those lists. Think about who wants the best for you. Your peers? or God?
Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m not saying your friends aren’t good people and they don’t care about you. Of course they do! You have good friends. But no one, not even me (your BIGGEST fan) can love you as wholesomely and unselfishly as the One who created you! I wish we all could but we’re so darn human and um…..self-centered.
Listen, this is something most of us struggle with until the end of time – here on Earth. So, I encourage you to be wise and look to the One who adores you through and through. Take captive your thoughts when you start to feel “less than” you “should” be. All those crazy thoughts won’t help you. They are build like an avalanche and you must stop them intentionally or they’ll mushroom.
Here’s something I made you that you can print and hang up to remind you how much God loves you. There are oodles of verses, but these are ones that I thought would be easy for you to remember and plant in your heart.
You are certainly my light!! It is such a joy for me to be your mom! You are loving and kind and I’m so glad God chose you to give to me as a daughter – you do light up my world!!!
I love you dearly,
If you’d like a printable copy of the graphic above just fill out the form in the sidebar to subscribe and it’ll be on the way to your inbox!
Michele Morin says
Thank you, Char! I pinned this to my parenting board. Such a great reminder!
Char says
Thanks Michele have a great week!
Laurie says
What a wonderful reminder to a daughter (or anyone) that she is loved and valued.
Char says
It’s a good reminder for all of us.
Patrick Weseman says
Very beautiful letter and I like the part about validation. That you don’t need to look to others. I have preached that for years to my kids. Very beautiful.
Char says
Good for you Patrick! You’re a good Dad.
Debbie Putman says
I want my granddaughters to read this!
Mareliz says
Hello Char,
Its so nice to have found your place. I felt peace and comfort.Thank you for hosting and sharing. I love my daughter to the bones. I am sharing my musings at 49.
Char says
Welcome Mareliz! I’m excited to read your musings!!
Lauren Sparks says
I wrote about comparison and jealousy last week. So hard – even for us grown-ups. laurensparks.net
Char says
Lauren your post is full of wisdom!! Loved it!
Lisa notes says
I’m so thankful that we don’t have to compare ourselves to others! We would always fall short in some ways, and then think too highly of ourselves in other ways. “So when you’re trying to gain confidence – please don’t look around you for validation.” Amen.
Char says
Me too Lisa! It’s a practice in taking every thought captive! For sure!
Marilyn Lesniak says
Thank you for hosting! My offerings this week include a Summer Snack Mix, Chicken Jerk Salad, and a Tuna Salad in a Cantaloupe Bowl. Enjoy your week!
Char says
Yum!! Thanks for the great recipes1
Maree Dee says
Your letters are so beautiful and packed with wisdom. What treasures! Thank you for sharing them with all of us. Maree
Char says
Thanks Maree. What an encouragement!
Donna Reidland says
Char, I really enjoy this letter format for sharing these truths. Pinning on my “posts worth reading board.”
Char says
Thanks Donna. It’s a change of pace.
Patricia says
Thank you for such a great link up – I was immensely blessed by the posts I read!