Dear Young Mom,
Over the weekend, Chris and I visited an amazing green market bustling with oodles of vendors with fresh and organic fares. The sun was beaming down as the crowds of people, dogs and strollers dodged the blazing sun (we’re in South Florida where it still reaches a roasting 88+ degrees). 🙂
Row after row, vendors displayed their products and patrons scooped them up! There was a happy buzz among the crowd. Until we turned a corner and heard preaching through a megaphone. You’ve probably seen these guys at an airport or a festival…holding their tall cross-shaped sign on a pole in one hand and a megaphone in another, shouting something like: “TURN OR BURN!” If only I had thought a little quicker I would’ve had a lot to say to them. Instead, we didn’t even mention the situation, but glanced away and continued walking down the path.
Being Christians, I think we were both too grieved to comment. Silently I guessed their success rate was close to zero. And I wondered if they knew why…
Admittedly, when we moms get tired and weary it’s too easy to sound like the Turn-or-Burn guys at the green market. “Do this OR ELSE!!” We demand. Oh, we know that’s nobody’s intention. Even the Turn-or-Burn guys don’t want to repulse anyone… (I don’t think)
But sometimes weariness catches us with our guards down. Unfortunately, as a young mom I remember hearing words slip out of my mouth before I could catch them – in my effort to teach my children about God:
- The bible says you should…
- The bible says you shouldn’t…
- God says in the bible that…..
- God won’t be happy if you do/don’t that..
- God is watching you…
No doubt, those phrases are 99% right and 100% true….but…when I heard myself say those phrases to my kids, I realized they sound a lot like rules and regulations and bible thumping. In sober reality, I knew that wasn’t going to draw my kids to Christ.
So how do we reconcile teaching our children truth without turning them off like the Turn-or-Burn guys?
First and foremost, I’d encourage you to take your little one’s point of view…
Why, oh why, do they need another rule? Especially a rule that involves a looming, omniscient God watching them constantly to make sure they obey?
Indeed, they may need another rule. But they certainly don’t want it. Often as moms, our job is to “introduce” what we know is best for our children. Much like we try to convince them that carrots are a better choice over cookies! We introduce the carrots first and then the benefits. And keep cookies away as long as possible until they’ve developed a taste for carrots.
As much as we’d like to pass our faith on to our children, we can’t. Faith is personal and it has to be embraced by our children as they grow in wisdom and understanding. I realized as a young mom that I would need to show my children the benefits that being a Christian (and having a relationship with Christ) would have. Showing them the truth that he was a God of judgement and accountability was important too, but not as a motivator.
When our children were little, I learned a song that still plays in my head, it was a very simple two line song:
“We love, (clap, clap)
Because God first loved us. (clap, clap)”
I remember learning that song in the children’s program and thinking it was overly simplistic. But in truth, that song pretty much wraps it up. Why do we choose to love God? Because we were first loved. Completely. Unconditionally. Without reservation. (It turns out that simplistic song is a bible verse: 1 John 4:19)
It became crystal clear that I would need to teach my children that simple truth: You are loved, through and through.
With that in mind, consider these ideas on how to teach children about the Bible:
- First, teach your children about God and His love for them.
- Then teach them about his laws. David, the writer of most of the Psalms, had a wonderful perspective and “loved God’s law” because he saw it as good. Indeed it is!
- Take time to develop the reasons for God’s laws.
Break the laws down into two categories and show your children that God created the law to do one of two things:
To Protect Them or To Bless Them
When my boys were little, I taught them those simple principles and helped them to see through experiences the Protection or Blessing that God was providing. Here’s an example:
You know the scene… we’re at a park; the activity is completed and the moms are chatting. I said to my son: “Five more minutes, and we’ll leave. But I need you to stay here near me.” Becoming impatient, my son wandered off, climbed a few benches and fell, landing on a cement pad, and hurting himself pretty badly. You’ve been there right?!
After consoling him, I reminded him that: “God says to obey Mommy and Daddy because He wants to protect you. Unfortunately, you wandered off and disobeyed and, wow, you were hurt. That stinks because God wanted you safe and sound.”
In that way, by reminding our children that God is watching out after them and wants the best for them (i.e., to protect them) – they will be drawn to Him – rather than bothered by yet, another rule.
A favorite verse of mine to share with children, and new Christians, is
Deut 30:19-20 (NIV). Here it is: (It’s God talking)
This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that
I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life,
so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life..
Isn’t that cool?!
God reminds us that:
He sets before us life and death, blessings and curses.
And then God:
URGES, BEGS, and IMPLORES us to choose the better of the two choices!
Be careful not to rush past that. Take it in…
That’s a God that our children will cling to…
As moms, we have a privileged role to introduce our children to the living God.
A God that loved them so much that He allows them to make their own choices, all the while urging them to choose the best life possible. The bible isn’t a book full of “Do’s” and “Do Not’s” – its God’s love letter to us that says, “You want the best life possible? The most satisfying life? Here it is, I’ve laid it out for you. Walk in it! Please.”
Who could resist that type of love?
Spread the love! God’s love,
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Laurie says
Your post reminded me of when my own boys were young. How I wish I could take back the harsh tone of my voice at times, the “do-it-or-else” stances I took. I think we mellow and develop more compassion as we get older. When we were young moms we were stressed, tired and (in our case) broke. And our kids turned out fine despite all of the mistakes!
Char says
Yay! I love that the results don’t totally depend on us. God even blesses our mistakes. How else will they know how to forgive? I’m sure you wrapped them in love Laurie!
Michele Morin says
Yes to all this! There are so many redemptive reasons for obedience that have to do with our flourishing and God’s glory. There’s a house a few miles down the road from us that brandishes all the prickly signs and I just feel sad whenever I drive by.
Char says
So many redemptive reasons…
Jerralea says
I’ve always believed the best way to win people is to live Jesus in front of them. That being said … I fall short so often. It’s like my daily prayer to do a better job with this day I’ve been given.
Char says
My sentiments exactly. It’s a great honor and overwhelming responsibility.
Gayl says
Beautiful post, Char, and such good advice! Blessings to you!
Char says
Thanks Gayl. Have a great week!
Patrick Weseman says
I like how taught about God’s love first before getting into the rest. Too many people will teach the rules and it becomes about rules and not love. We need to teach that God loves us first.
Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.
Char says
You too Patrick!
Lauren Sparks says
I love this. You have given me a lot to think about today. laurensparks.net
Char says
Enjoy your week Lauren!
nylse says
We are called to be salt and light. If we just throw the salt at them we’re just assaulting them!
Char says
That’s a good point. As a salt lover/addict I love salt spicing things up, not thrown at me – as you said.
Susan Shipe says
I’ve walked Green Market, Char, in WPB ? I love going there. Excellent post too. I wrote a children’s book 52 Commands of Jesus – with coloring pages – teaching those “rules” Jesus guides us through in the NT and with the parallel character qualities. My one regret is that I wasn’t walking with the Lord in the most formative years of my kids’ lives. God has redeemed but not without 2 prodigals.
Char says
Oh! I’m going to look up your book Susan! Yes, I understand it is SUCH a blessing to be able to teach our children while they are young.
Maree Dee says
Char – If only I had read this 25 years ago. I love the simplistic way of teaching what God’s laws are for. But you know what it is never too late to start the conversation. Thank you! I pinned it.
Char says
It’s never too late. And one thing I’m sure of… when it’s God’s timing they will hear it even if we don’t say it.