Dear Serial Dieter,
Have you ever been to a concert or a play where the audience is chattering, making it difficult to enjoy the performance? Oh it’s frustrating for sure! Just when the story is captivating you and drawing you from your reality – the cacophony in the balcony yanks you back into the theater and you notice the guy sitting beside you is taking up the armrest you wanted!
Many times, when we’re stressed, it’s as if we’re in the balcony with the chatterboxes. The thoughts in our head are like chattering that we find difficult to hush. We hyperfocus on the chattering and then miss the reality around us and before we know it we’re drawn into worrying about STUFF.
Stuff that incites fear and stifles us
Stuff that highlights our inadequacies
Stuff that makes living life much less pleasant
Oh, I’ve had those days where I felt like jumping from a cliff and waving a white flag of surrender – (fortunately there are no cliffs in this flat land where we live!) Have you ever felt like that? Please just stop the bus and let me off!
Those are the times when we serial dieters typically reach for a bite (or two) to numb the pain. Food is like a drug for us. And the chatterbox upstairs reminds us that just reaching for a little to eat will ease the discomfort.
Miss Chatterbox (that’s what we’ll call her…you know, the chattering voices in our heads) provokes us by telling us that we can’t handle the situation, that we aren’t strong enough, that we aren’t good enough, that we’ll never accomplish our goal, that we…. blah, blah, blah….
Listening to the chatterbox upstairs creates a downhill spiral.
Quite honestly, most of the time we probably don’t realize Miss Chatterbox is even steering us. Miss Chatterbox’s warnings were helpful when we were younger and more likely to act foolishly and impetuously, but now, her warnings are stifling. We “buy into” the fear, doubt and insecurity that Miss Chatterbox wants to channel to us. Oh, she was our friend at one time, but now – she holds us back. She’s certifiable crazy and scared like a deer in headlights – and she wants to do anything but face that fear. Listening to Miss Chatterbox is like watching CNN, Fox News and MSNBC – she stirs the pot by sensationalizing our experiences.
Miss Chatterbox was a motormouth when I was pursuing my masters degree through an online program some years ago. I remember sitting down to my first online lesson. Being an optimist, it didn’t occur to me that a one-year online program would stretch this non-detail-oriented girl like a rubber band! On that first day of the program, I slipped on my bathing suit and carried my laptop outside on the pool deck. Sunbathing and schooling! I was sure it would be a most amazing adventure as I began my initiation into online schooling. It wasn’t long before I began to sweat, not from the scorching sun, but from the intensity of the program and my need to pay attention to every detail.
Oh don’t you know… Miss Chatterbox started her cackling: You think you can do this? You are so far over your head! You’re crazy to think you will actually read through every lesson, rubric, online resource. Not a chance. Be realistic, this isn’t your cup of tea. Online books?! Ha! Gooooood Luck!
She was right. I knew an online program wasn’t something I could normally do. Panic struck hard and didn’t subside. I carried my laptop inside, planted myself at my desk, and mustered up the determination that had gotten me through every difficult thing I’d ever faced.
Determination met Panic met Miss Chatterbox that day. And Determination had to silence Miss Chatterbox during each and every lesson throughout that program. It was a long challenging season in which I had to intentionally ignore Miss Chatterbox as she taunted and jeered at me. She was scared I would fail and prove how incapable I was. Understanding that, I leaned intentionally and hard into God and my Determination. Some days she was right, I was in over my head, but I pressed on one step at a time to earn my degree (with a 4.0 GPA – take that Miss Chatterbox!)
Silencing Miss Chatterbox was an exercise of the will. On the days I entertained (and agreed) with her taunts, I struggled every inch of the way. But on those days where I realized that she’s just a chatterbox, not caring for my best interest, I realized I could silence her by pushing through and trusting Truth.
Trusting means leaning on what you know is true. Not necessarily believing it with our whole heart, but more like gambling on what we know is true – is true.
As Christians you know what God says is true. If you (and I) believed it 100%…. um, we wouldn’t be serial dieters. The way we eat shows a great deal about what we believe. When we lean on food to help us through difficult times, we sneak a peek into what we truly believe. I know that’s an unpleasant thought, but it’s true.
When we tune in to Miss Chatterbox, we tune out what God says.
When I listened to Miss Chatterbox with curiosity, I couldn’t believe she would speak to me so contemptuously and I realized that maybe I had never really stopped to listen- reallllly listen. Eavesdropping into her accusations, I realized the wounds that had been inflicted (and I had accepted) by never questioning Miss Chatterbox’s truths. You see, some of what she was saying was true….
But ALL of what God says is true.
There is no doubt that obstacles, challenges, and hard times threaten our peaceful walk. This is part of reality.
My challenge to you this week my serial dieter friend, is to eavesdrop a bit….
Listen to your Miss Chatterbox upstairs and see what she is saying. Take notice. With inquiry not judgement.
Remember that when you observe with curiosity, you eliminate the shame, guilt, and harsh expectations that so often result when you buy into the chatter. By noticing the prattling messages and comparing them to Truth, God’s truth, Miss Chatterbox will lose her power.
Oh my, I’m getting wordy! But this is so important! I made you a worksheet that you can use this week to observe Miss Chatterbox and dethrone her! Remember, Miss Chatterbox started out as your friend….she wanted to save you from pain and embarrassment when you were younger. But now, God can steer you so much better – with His vision for you.
Be sure to give yourself permission to take some time to search the bible for truth. God’s Truth. What He says is true about you. The truths in the bible are your weapons. First catch the chatter, then wield your mighty weapon!! If you’re not sure how, just write me back and I’ll be glad to help you.
My sweet friend, you do doubt yourself, I get it – you weren’t meant to handle life alone. With God’s power, and His amazing love for you, you can turn that self-doubt into a strong trust as you lean on what God says is true. Each time you trust, your faith will grow and you will become stronger and stronger. Don’t let Miss Chatterbox lead you around like a dog on a leash!
Take back your balcony and silence the chatter!
I have a printout for you to track what Miss Chatterbox is saying through the day. Remember, Miss Chatterbox started out as your friend….she wanted to save you from pain and embarrassment when you were younger. But now, God can steer you so much better – with His vision for you. If you’d like it just fill out the form in the sidebar to subscribe. It’s helpful to write down what you’re hearing to break the cycle!
Take some time for YOU!
I encourage you to give yourself time to fill out this form – as many days as it takes until you are able to fight off the fear, insecurity and doubt that Miss Chatterbox is pushing on you.
It can be very therapeutic and healing. Your God loves you deeply and completely. May you experience His complete acceptance of you today!
P.S. If you’d like to join my private Facebook group “Trekking Thru to Freedom” for support along the way – we’d love to have you and I’m SURE we can benefit from your input as well. (Also, all the past worksheets are on the FB group). Just send me (Char Geletka) a friend request and I’ll add you! YAY!!!!
Monica says
This article is brilliant!!! It’s spot on and extremely helpful. I’m going to work with the sheets. I actually cannot wait to use them. Thank you. You are gifted and insightful Char
Char says
Good for you Monica! I printed the worksheet and writing down what chatterbox is saying. She’s working overtime today! But God… 🙂
Anita Ojeda says
What a creative way to describe the source of negative self-talk! I love that you urge us to observe with curiosity, not judgement. It’s so important to fill our ‘balcony’ with the positive promises of God. He takes up balcony space and leaves no room for Miss Chatterbox!
Char says
I’ve learned that observing with curiosity is a key to being able to see what’s going on. It takes away the pressure and allows us to tweak. At least for me!
Michele Morin says
I know this girl because she lives in my head, too!
Thank you for sharing your coping and corralling strategies!
Char says
She’s a popular girl Michele! She makes the rounds…
Lauren Sparks says
Taking a gamble on what you know is true is true. This is good perspective for me when I’m struggling with doubt. Thank you. laurensparks.net
Char says
We don’t talk about that doubt a lot but I remember one New Years sermon when my pastor preached entirely on doubt. I thought that was very vulnerable and honest. Plus it helped us to understand that we all reason and question a little…
Gayl says
So good, Char. It’s easy to listen to Miss Chatterbox, but when met with God’s truth, she doesn’t have a chance. Blessings to you!
Char says
No she doesn’t! Have a great week Gayl.
Patrick Weseman says
Very beautiful words. Thanks and I printed the checklist. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.
Char says
Great! I’d love to know how it goes!
Jo Davis says
We can be our own worst enemies when it comes to self doubt and “chatterbox” talk! But, listening to God and remembering His promises will always encourage. With God, we can be courageous and handle all that comes our way! And the bonus is, we have victory in Christ!
Blessings, Jo
Laurie says
Wonderful article! I think we all can relate to Ms. Chatterbox. Thanks for the help silencing her!