Oh my, oh my.
What can I say? I’m your mom and I’m speechless. I always have something to say!! But not this time…
Your trial is bigger than anything I have every gone through and I wish upon wish that I could take it away. Honestly, I don’t know your pain. I don’t know the fear that threatens to grip you. I don’t know how to handle something this big. I soooo wish I did. I wish I had the magic words to make it all better. I wish there was an elixir, a medicine, that I could mix and give it to you to make you feel better like when you were little and had an illness. I wish I could push rewind for you and somehow change history or prepare you. My heart breaks when I think of your anguish, now and to come. I am truly so sorry for what you are going through.
And as you walk through this tragedy, please know that I am committed to pray for you.
First off, I will pray that God protects you from the stupid things people say. I doubt you will be shielded from them all, but I pray that you are not influenced by them. Or better yet, when you hear their words that are meant to console, yet deeply hurt, I pray that you will take the chicken (that they care deeply) and throw out the bones (the sting of their ignorance).
Please know – people are ignorant, unaware and oblivious.
Because: they – simply – don’t -know. They have no idea what you are going through.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter if you are battling a broken leg, the loss of a dearly loved one, cancer or any other tragedy. Even if friends have gone through something similar, they really do not/cannot understand what you are going through. Or how you are going through this. Be patient with their lack of knowledge. In their desperate desire to make things better with a word – they may mistakenly hurt you.
I will pray that when time goes by, and people become silent…. I pray that you understand that they still care about you deeply, but don’t want to inflict pain on you, so they stop talking about it. They don’t forget your journey. They love you and they are praying. But they don’t know how to ask you how you are doing and/or how they can help you. They may stop asking. But they don’t stop caring.
I will pray that what has happened, will draw you closer to the Lord, not further away. Tragedy has a way of doing both. Sometimes we allow it to push us away for a period of time. Sometimes not. I have had great tragedies that have done both. I pushed away for many years, not understanding who God was, between all the crazy things people were saying and the thoughts in my mind.
And I’ve had tragedy draw me closer. When, in those quiet moments of suffering, I knew there was only One who knew and understood what I was going through. I knew that my Lord would walk me through. Others couldn’t. It was my tragedy. My journey. And no one could fathom the quiet battles inside my head, no one knew the depths of my emotion or lack of emotion – like God knew. And He was/is willing to walk every step of the way with me. He will do the same for you.
As you walk out this journey, my main prayer is that you would find God very personal. Very loving. Very tender. Very patient. And very intimate.
He is the only One I know that asks us to cast all our cares upon Him. We don’t have another friend that comes close to that! And the only one that promises that He will never leave us. Our other friends have their lives to live and can’t really come close to being with us every time we struggle. Every second.
But God is.
He will walk every step of this journey with you.
And I will continue to pray Philippians 2:19-20, that “through [our] prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to you will turn out for your deliverance and that you will in no way be ashamed, but that you will have sufficient courage for this journey and that Christ will be exalted through you.”
You are a good person and Jesus will walk you through this. He will never turn His attention away from you – unless you turn from Him continually. Then…. He will pursue you until you come back. He wants you far more than you want Him.
Nice to be loved so completely, huh?
Even Momma can’t love you that perfectly. Although I feel like I love you with my whole being….
I am your biggest fan – always,
With all my love,