I’m at a loss for words. Simply because there are no words. Words can not console those who hurt.
Did you know that there have been over 200 school shootings that have occurred since Columbine in 1999? Actually, 208 to be exact. Granted they weren’t all mass shootings, but they still brought horror and fear.
And sadly, they aren’t likely to stop. Unless something radically changes. If you’ve been a parent or been involved in the life of a child, you know that true, effectual change must be a change of the heart.
Otherwise we are all submitting to rules like the student that declares in obedient defiance:
“Fine! I’m sitting down on the outside, but on the inside, I’m standing up!!!”
In our pain, we lash out searching for someone or something to blame:
- Guns,
- Politicians,
- Lack of security,
- Teachers,
- Parents,
- Children,
- Video games,
- FBI, etc., etc., etc.
In reality, we all know that correcting just one or two of the items listed above will not bring about the change that is needed to stop the horror. It truly takes a village.
I’d like to share with you a perspective of a teacher, who happens to be my son. This is a post that he wrote after the shooting in Parkland, Florida that addresses some of the issues that he sees daily. Matthew embraces his position as a ministry every day that he serves his children.
As a young, 27-year-old man, he is the same age as many of his student’s fathers – who are frightfully absent. The charter school that Matthew teaches at was created to serve disadvantaged children who need stability, love and guidance, in addition to a quality education. The teachers take their roles very seriously – understanding that they are more than teachers – they are role models, they are messengers of hope.
I invite you to read a teacher’s perspective as he serves the next generation:
Let’s talk school shootings.
I’m a teacher. I haven’t been at it long – it’s my second year. In this short time I’ve seen, and continue to see, a lot of things.
I see hurt.
I see children living in broken homes without a sense of stability. On many separate occasions, kids have told me they want to live with me, or said they wished I was their dad.
Others have asked me whether I’ll take them if they are abandoned.
These children are hurting and they don’t understand why. They don’t even know that the hurt isn’t normal.
I see violence.
I see kids on a hair trigger, lashing out from the slightest provocation.
I see kids transform from sweet to volcanic in moments.
It is well said that “hurt people hurt people.” The effects of such violence are hardly visible in elementary school – some hurt feelings, a bruised shin perhaps – but that is simply because the offending student does not yet know how to cause pain. Lack of hand-eye coordination and lack of martial knowledge practically ensures no real damage will be done. But make no mistake: children lash out with vicious and brutal intent.
I’ve seen malicious creativity.
At times, children would use whatever tool was at hand to harm another student. Usually the tool was just that – their hands. Sometimes, though, the children would get creative. They might use words to throw insults. Or feet to kick. Or a teacher’s authority to get another student in trouble. Or a pencil to stab. Or their own voice to scream in another’s ears. I’ve seen parents use their own children as tools against teachers, and I’ve seen children manipulate parents so that the parents’ wrath is turned from the child to a teacher.
I’ve also seen redemption.
I’ve seen healing.
I’ve seen a child cry when he told me that his friend (a former enemy) was transferring to a different school. A child who was once feared by an entire class became reconciled to them and made friends in the class. Child rageaholics gained self-control and learned to choose a path without rage. Children who thought they were worthless have discovered that they are valuable and they have something to offer. Students have overcome incredible challenges, and have been delighted to discover their own prowess. Children have tried to help the people around them and have shown that they care about others in that guileless, faltering, precious way common to children everywhere.
I teach less than 20 miles from where the Parkland shooting occurred – too close for comfort. My own class has kids who are full of potential, and full of pain. Every day I work to tell them how valuable they are, how powerful their choices can be, and that I want them to live fulfilled, successful lives. These kids need hope. These kids desperately need meaning as they grow up in unstable or neglectful homes. Like it or not, these kids won’t be cute forever – one day they’ll grow up. They will become successes or they will become failures. My job is to give them the biggest boost possible towards success, by teaching them to make the right choices in life.
You want to stop school shootings? Combat the nihilism and agony that cause such things. When politics take precedence over children’s mental health, things like murder and suicide become much more likely. If guns didn’t exist, we would probably have mass poisonings or something similar.
Evil will find expression. We can never take away absolutely everything that could be used as a tool for violence.
But what we can do is tend to the needs of our children, making choices that will be tougher for both us and them in the present, but will result in our children’s future well-being.
At the end of the day, people are looking to influence either the root of this issue or the fruit it brings forth.
Is it more important to suppress people’s actions, or to change their hearts so they don’t want to do evil in the first place?
Do we care about guns, or do we care about children?
The original post can be viewed on Matthew’s blog at:
Makinguthink
So now what? You might be thinking, what can I do? Little ole me?
I’d love to toss you a bible verse that would heal the hurt, but honestly, I think we need “Jesus with skin on” right now.
Think of Matthew. One second grade teacher, 15 miles from the shooting….striving to change the trajectory of the lives of his students. By loving them, teaching them, telling them they are important.
There is nothing more valuable that any of us can do to change the world than to invest love in those around us.
Do you see someone hurting? Reach out.
Do you have an hour? Read to a child.
Do you have a phone? Text an encouraging note to your child’s teacher
Do you have food? Invite someone to dinner, send an extra sandwich to school
With your efforts, my efforts, Matthew’s efforts, and other’s efforts we can change the world.
Whatever you do…don’t discount your influence!
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Michele Morin says
I think my greatest fear in all this is that we will become accustomed to it. I never want to become numb to the suffering that comes with violence. Thanks, Char, for words that wake up our sad hearts.
Char says
Me too Michele…Because when we become numb and stop hurting, we give in to the pain and no longer try to make the difference that each of us can.
Cheryl says
Matthew sounds like he has so much wisdom and insight at his young age; the students in his classroom are truly blessed to have him as their teacher.
Char says
He serves with his heart. Thanks Cheryl!
Joanne Viola says
Char, you have a wise son. Let’s care about the children. Truly see them and be present with them. May they see Jesus and may they let Him tend to their hurting hearts. May we be faithful to pray for our children. They are our future adults.
Char says
We do need to truly see them and be present with them. With them. Jesus with skin on, loving on them, showing them they are valuable and they each have a purpose. It’s the greatest calling!
Anita Ojeda says
I hear you! Matthew and I serve a similar population. It’s so sad when kids don’t even understand that it’s not normal to have a cell phone and no running water; drive a nice truck and have a cousin or uncle sexually abuse them. We can all make a difference, one life and relationship at a time.
Char says
You’re so right Anita – one relationship at a time. I’m sure the people you connect with are encouraged by you! You are such an encourager!
Jamie@TheMomGene says
Oh Char. I love your son’s wisdom, even in these early years of teaching. I love his heart. As a former teacher, I say prayers over all the ones still working to keep kids safe, help them learn, discipline with gentleness…all the things we try to do as parents, these teachers are doing as well. I’ll say an extra prayer for your son and all of them today.
Char says
Thanks Jamie! The teachers have their hands full. I’m sure it’s a challenge to stay focused on molding these precious children as the years go by and the pressure builds with testing, etc.
Pam Ecrement says
This is an exceptional post and I clicked over to your son’s site to say so and also posted it on Twitter and Facebook. I taught junior high special education for 15 years before becoming a clinical counselor. I knew the problems up close and I was more concerned about helping those things than meeting the teaching requirements of each day. Your son is wise beyond his years. The shouting and looking for a quick fix needs to stop. When I was teaching, the parents I most wanted and needed to see would never come in to talk. Unless we regain the very values your son notes, all will be lost even if all guns are removed. I think we have forgotten that prohibition only kept alcohol from law abiding citizens, the criminal minds took it over and crime increased and eventually we realized alcohol itself was not the villain. Thanks so much, Char!
Char says
Thanks for the encouragement Pam. I tell my son – every chance I get – that what he is doing is making a difference through eternity. His vision and ministry to the children far outweigh what the world deems as success. That is a challenge in and of itself. But then again, living as a Christian is usually a bit backwards from the world’s vision. Loving over hating, uniting rather than dividing, reaching across the isle – regardless.
Rachel says
So much YES!!!!! Char, interestingly I wrote about the very same thing this week!
I enjoyed this from a teachers perspective. So much truth here. My heart bleeds to make people feel loved. KNOW that they are loved! Would it instantly fix everything? No. But I’ll bet it would fix a lot!
Love must rise above the hate.
We are to be the messengers of that love.
Thank you for this!
Much love!
Char says
Love your post Rachel! You have great ideas for anyone looking to make a difference and not sure where to start! Thanks for sharing.
KellyRBaker says
Such heartbreak in the world. Yes, may we reach out with love!
Char says
Amen!
Patrick Weseman says
As a teacher and a parent, I see what is going on in our communities and we have a deeper problem that will take time for us to change our society. One thing we all can do is spend time with the ones we love and others. We are so concerned about getting the latest electronic whatever, buying the right clothes, etc., that we don’t others what is most important-our time.
Very beautiful post your son wrote. Thanks for sharing it. Thanks for hosting and I hope you have a wonderful week.
Char says
It is a deep problem that will take time. Which is why today matters and each of us can reach out and love…. Thanks for stopping in Patrick and your heart as a teacher.
Melissa says
As a mental health therapist I work mostly with children and teenagers. It saddens me that very rarely the conversation of mental health is brought up in these shooting cases. Our children are not getting the support they need. We aren’t getting to the root pain and emotion that is driving these heinous behaviors.
Char says
I couldn’t agree more. I woke up angry that the focus is on the guns rather than the kids who desperately need the attention.
nylse says
The inner city schools and its environs are our society’s throwaways. NO ONE cares and much has been written about this. There are patterns that are repeated over and over again, it almost seems intentional that nothing is being done to change the situation.
But the folks who live in those cities know that they are not throwaways and they are fighting an uphill battle. Poverty breeds its own set of problems. These aren’t excuses btw.
Thank God for teachers that care though it is unfortunate that they have to become everything to some of their students. But as your Son says or implies it will take more than teachers caring. It will take all of us so that our laws and our systems are changed for the better.
God is a God of justice and equity – as hearts are turned to Him may we be the change that is sorely needed.
Char says
Thanks for your thoughts Nysle. It is heartbreaking as we watch people that need help. I worked with teen moms for many years and saw alot of people helping, but they had cultural challenges that we can’t grasp or change easily.
I think Matthew stated it pretty clearly: “what we can do is tend to the needs of our children, making choices that will be tougher for both us and them in the present”
We idolize comfort in this country. We have to make choices that are uncomfortable. I don’t think the lack of action is lack of concern, rather we love to be comfortable and are paying a high price – as others suffer for our selfishness.
nylse says
What do you mean by cultural challenges that we can’t grasp or change easily?
Char says
When we come from different cultures or radically different childhoods, we cannot fully understand the challenges that others face. For instance, in Matthew’s post: it’s difficult for him to grasp the pain his student’s experience without a father figure or how it feels to be neglected. Although I’m sure he wants to change the trajectory of their path – that change does not come easily. It takes consistency, authentic love and dedication.
sue says
Can your son’s blog be sent out to more readers? I can link it to a friend who writes for a paper. I do feel helpless in light of the massive problem. It is a problem of evil more than politics. My husband says to address the mental illness. I agree yet even deeper is the the sadness and loss and loneliness of so many. So your simple action list is what we all can do. Tell your son he’s in the right place doing the right thing. I taught school and I know.
Char says
Hi Sue, Matthew is open to being used in whatever way it will help. Please feel free to link and share as you think it would help. We do need to address the hurt and heart of the issues.
Thanks for the encouragement!
sue says
just shared twice. (:
Char says
Thank you Sue. I appreciate your heart so much!
Donna Reidland says
Char, what a thought-provoking post. You are so right that ultimately it’s hearts that need to change. What a blessing to see your son grow to serve God in such a tangible and powerful way! Pinning and sharing.
Char says
Thanks Donna. He is an amazing young man that has an eternal perspective.
Lisa notes says
Using our influence for good, right where we are, is always great advice. Love these suggestions, Char:
“Do you see someone hurting? Reach out.
Do you have an hour? Read to a child.
Do you have a phone? Text an encouraging note to your child’s teacher.”
We can do this.
Marilyn Lesniak says
Thank you for being so supportive of other bloggers. I think parties are the best social media strategy around!! I linked my Broasted Chicken, Fish and Chips and my Slow Cooker Sweet Potato Black Bean Chili for that down home comfort meal. I hope you enjoy them. Have a happy week! #OverTheMoon #WWBlogHop #ThursdayFavoriteThings
Luna says
Thank you, Char for this post. I think we all are in so much edge right now that we are looking at things and reasons to blame and this letter from the teacher is so on point. Will definitely share. And thank you for hosting. It’s my first time visiting and I love it already.
Char says
Thanks Luna. Emotions are high right now and we need to be sensitive. I ran into some ladies last night that knew families that were affected and they were so broken.
Lureta says
Such wisdom from your son. Our world is broken and in need of salvation. Hearts need to be healed. May God have mercy on us. Your post is inspiring. We can all make a difference in our own small way. Blessings.
Thank you for the opportunity to link up.
Debbie Williams says
Beautiful words Matthew. As a substitute teacher I hear you.
Teachers are filling in where love and prayer are left out at home. I find ways to share about church, love, Bible studies when I can. I pray for ways to share and God provides. I also sit and pray for every child when they are working silently one by one that God will touch them and is preparing a Godly spouse for them.
Prayer is in my schools – it may be silent, but many times not. There is no prayer over the speakers anymore, but before the pledge there is a silent time. Clubs reflecting God are in our school along with all the other clubs. Students bring gifts to teachers with Bible verses, devotional books, etc. and I see those as I walk in classrooms where they are proudly displayed with other gifts from students.
Thankful for teachers that shine Jesus like Matthew is.
Char says
It sounds like you are a part of an amazing school! What a blessing you and the staff are to those children!
Jerralea says
I love the idea of texting an encouraging note to your child’s teacher! Although my kids are grown, I now have grandkids in PreK. It seems the PreK teacher has a great opportunity to touch a child’s life because they are a child’s first experience with faculty. I know our PreK teachers need lots of encouragement because I do not know how they do it!
Char says
I’m sure they leave exhausted daily and your encouragement would be a huge blessing. Especially as a grandma!
SUSAN SHIPE says
Char, hubs and I cancelled our FL trip. 🙁
Char says
Well, well, please let me know when you’ll be headed our way! I’d love to meet you!
April J Harris says
This is a wonderful, thought provoking post, Char. I also enjoyed your son’s piece within it. It gives a good perspective of the challenges children face. Your son sounds like a wonderful teacher too. We definitely need to do something fundamental about the violence in our society. Thank God, school violence isn’t as prevalent here in the UK (although we have issues with terrorism), but bullying is rife and so many children are hurting. I do like the premise that we can all do something, however small, and that it will help. Thank you for sharing this post with us at the Hearth and Soul Link Party.