Dear Young Mom,
Does it amaze you that sometimes your little one has no clue (and doesn’t care) how much you do for him/her? And he/she still wants more?????How can they not be grateful???!!!!
Oh, parenting can be draining for sure. Bear in mind that parenting season is quick. I remember thinking: the days were lonnnnnng, but the years flew by. My mother-in-law continually reminded me that these “were the best” years and not to wish them away. That made me slow down a bit and enjoy the journey on those challenging days.
Having a child that is grateful is a joy! It’s easy to go the extra mile and carry that little one uphill a mile through the snow! Yet, when your children don’t seem to notice what you or others have done for them, it’s concerning. Please don’t be discouraged, it will come….
So how do you teach your children to be grateful for all they’ve been given?
When something doesn’t come naturally, we can pick it up in one of two ways: A lightning-bolt type revelation from God OR a process of learning.
I’m sure many of you have heard how God changed someone’s heart in a flash, but most often that lightning-bolt revelation came to a friend of a friend of a friend – and not us.
So how can we lead our children through the process of learning authentic gratitude? Here are some ideas:
- From the earliest times when your little one acts in kindness, express a “Thank you!” as they extend themselves. This goes along with the old adage that: “A lot more is caught than taught.”
- Teach them to say “Thank you” when others reach out to do something nice for them. Even when it’s a gift they don’t care for, they can say, “Thank you, that was really nice of you!” Because it was.
- Write thank you notes when you/they receive gifts. Encourage your children to say why they’re grateful in the note.
- Have a gratitude jar or journal. As you go through the year, write down on pieces of paper things that you (or they) are grateful for. At the end of the year, or on Thanksgiving or New Year’s, read through some of the blessings that your family has experienced. Similarly, you can start a fresh list each month on the fridge of gratitude that each person can write on.
- Play “Gratefulness Spy.” Like the game “I SPY” you can look for things to be grateful for throughout your time playing.
- Play a game of “What would it be like without….” to spur conversations to see how blessed we are!
- Make it a family habit to go around the dinner table and say one thing you’re grateful for today. You can do this at bedtime too.
Do you know that story in the bible in Luke 17 verse 11-19 where Jesus healed ten lepers and only one came back to say thank you? What amazed me in that story was that Jesus was markedly concerned that the other nine lepers didn’t come back to thank him and praise God. Do you think Jesus needed to be thanked? I don’t know, but I’d guess that he was concerned with the state of their hearts. First they cried out to be healed, Jesus gave them the method for their healing, and they took it and moved on – without acknowledging who had blessed them.
Young mom, it’s easy for us to forget that we too have been given EVERYTHING. We were born with nothing. Be sure to pepper gratitude in your conversations regularly as you grow your little ones. Even though they may not act like they’re catching on….they are!
Mamma has an influence that can’t be denied.
Thanking God for you and your dedication to your little one,
Laurie says
Gratitude is so important to teach young children. I try to make this clear to my grandsons. I take them along to deliver meals on wheels with me and we serve up Thanksgiving dinner at a homeless shelter together. Any opportunity to teach them gratitude and compassion is welcome.
Char says
Those are wonderful traditions to teach a lifetime of gratefulness Laurie!
Crystal Twaddell says
I love the heart of intention behind training up our family in gratitude. Love the “I spy gratitude” game. We played I Spy all the time, especially on the road but this one never occurred to me.
Char says
A friend introduced me to the idea of “I Spy” variations. Games are such a fun way to teach aren’t they?!
Rebecca Hastings says
Modeling gratitude for our children is the best way to help them be grateful. I love your tips for this. They served as a reminder/checkpoint for me 🙂
Lisa notes says
Seeing gratitude in our children is such a breath of fresh air! My kids are now grown and so I hear their gratitude more often, but it still makes me smile. 🙂
Char says
I love that Lisa! What a blessing!
Lauren Sparks says
Some great ideas! I love the ispy game! laurensparks.net
Char says
Thanks Lauren. Have a great week!
nylse says
Boy am I glad that I have passed this stage of my life. Now I can see the fruits of my labor and encourage young moms to stay the course – it’s worth it.
Char says
Good words of advice Nylse. It’s great to be on the other side and experience the fruit.
Patrick Weseman says
Very nice. I think it is a good thing to teach our kids early on about gratitude. The earlier they learn the better off they will be. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.
Laura at Cheered on Mom says
Hey, we wrote about the same thing today! Love your practical tips on teaching gratitude, Char! This is excellent.
Char says
WooHoo! It’s perfect timing to talk about the importance of gratitude. Headed your way now!
Maree Dee says
Char – What wonderful ideas you gave to foster gratitude in our children. My kids are all grown up, and your post gave me a boost of encouragement I needed. All three of my children have a heart of gratitude which makes me grateful.
However, a strange thing has happened one of my kids has a terrible memory he remembers very little of what I did while he was growing up. The room mother position, team mom, quiet time, special time, etc. all forgotten. I was feeling a little slighted, but when I read your post I realized I loved doing those things and it did build a heart of gratitude. He is one of the most thankful people I know. He never fails to thank me when I do something he just might not remember it.
Char says
Ahhhhhh! I love that Maree! It just goes to show fruit is grown in our mothering. How beautiful that he may not remember the details… but got the message!!!
Donna Reidland says
Writing thank you notes and saying thank-you is almost a lost art in our “entitled” world. And yet, gratitude is one of the most important attitudes to cultivate and teach our children.
Char says
A handwritten note is more precious than ever!