We’ve all heard that saying that “You are capable of much more than you think you are.” And while we know deep down this is true, we’re getting a bit soft.
Little league teams are giving out trophies for participation. Parents are pulling their sons off teams because the coach is harsh. Children don’t want to try new sports or events they aren’t comfortable in and parents don’t urge them on.
We’re getting soft.
I think it’s because – we don’t want to see our children suffer. But we’re cultivating an atmosphere of quitting.
I remember attending an educational conference years ago about the importance of allowing our children to struggle. The speaker told a story of a young boy who loved football and joined a high school football team. Instead of loving football the boy grew to hate going to practice because of the heat and difficulty of the practices, which gave him intense headaches. Although it was difficult for the father to refuse his son, he thought it was important to teach his son the value of grit. Each week the boy came home begging to quit the team, each week dad refused.
Though that seemed like an impossible situation, with no relief in sight – except that the football season would eventually end, it is exactly that grit that helped that young boy endures immense difficulties after he grew up.
As soon as you quit it shifts you into a mindset that you can quit. That quitting is okay.
It’s easy to think that successful people have arrived to their pinnacle of success without challenges and trials. For the most part, they make it look quite easy. But truth be told, their success is due to their grit: they didn’t allow their problems to stop them. In the face of problems, they don’t quit. They don’t look for an out. Instead, successful people look for a way when there is no way.
For that boy, there really was no way for him to succeed. Except to hang in there. He tried drinking more water, taking salt tablets, eating differently, but nothing worked.
Here are some small steps that you can take when you want to develop GRIT:
- Acknowledge that quitting develops a pattern that is not helpful towards your goal
- Make a list of those who are “watching” you. Does your success/failure matter to them?
- Think back to a time when you persevered and things turned out more favorably than you expected.
- Write down your goal again. Is it worth pursuing?
Success takes many forms. It is on a timetable of its own. Not quitting is a success in and of itself. It shows you that you can persist beyond what you think you can and gives you a platform to build upon. Success is built upon a strong foundation of perseverance.
Don’t discount the journey. Our greatest character traits are built in the fiery times of trials.
Be Assured: Developing a habit of not quitting gives you an advantage!
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Anita Ojeda says
Great advice, Char! I think you’re on to something. In our quest to give our children a better life, we forget that turmoil and adversity build character as we learn to preservers despite the circumstances.
Char says
It certainly works that way for me! Thanks for stopping by Anita. Have a great week
Michele Morin says
I love this!
And I’ll share a proud mumma moment: When my son took a job in a shipyard last summer (think long hours welding in the cramped bottom of an old metal boat), his boss told him to go home and thank his mother for raising a man and not a boy.
I’ve been so thankful for that boy’s stick-to-it-ive-ness!
Char says
I love that! Good fruit Michele!
Jamie@TheMomGene says
My favorite woman from the Bible who I ALWAYS think of as the grit-master is Naomi. That girl knew how to keep calm and carry on!
Char says
Grit-master! Awesome!
KellyRBaker says
Thanks for the tips on developing grit, especially the thinking back one. Glad to join your linkup!
Char says
Thanks for linking up Kelly!
nylse says
When you quit you learn it’s ok to quit. So many forget that. Thanks for this reminder. I personally never let my children quit anything on principle alone.
Char says
Good for you! It’s very hard to endure the pain of watching our children struggle..
Rachel Lee says
I’ll have me some of that grit, thank you! Honestly, I think I need it. I tend to give up too easily. And it’s true that our character is formed in the furnace of adversity, (yuck). Great word Char!
Char says
We naturally avoid the pain of the furnace – don’t we?! Thanks for stopping by Rachel!
Marilyn Lesniak says
Thank you for hosting. I linked my Sweetheart Bark, Red Wings Hot Popcorn, and Red Velvet Banana Bread for that Valentine reminder. I hope you enjoy them! Have a happy week! #OverTheMoon #WWBlogHop #ThursdayFavoriteThings
Patrick Weseman says
Wow, so amazing. The reason I say that is that I just had this talk with someone and I told them as a teacher I can measure almost everything by testing but there is one thing that we can never measure is heart and grit. Some people have it and some don’t.
I always tell my kids (they are in their early 20’s) that it is ok to get knocked down but you learn about yourself by how you respond. Are you going to lay there and curl up in the fetal position or are going to get up and do as this short poem says:
“Fight on, my men,” Sir Andrew Said
“A little I’m hurt but not yet slain.
“I’ll just lie down and bleed a while,
“And then I’ll rise and Fight again.”
And that the first time you quit, it makes it that much easier to quit each time that you want to.
And yes I gave it to them on little cards for their wallets.
Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week and thanks for this. (Sorry if I was too long).
Char says
Thanks for sharing Patrick. I love the poem. It allows us to experience the pain – and not ignore our feelings – but is quite clear on the importance of getting up and getting going!
Victoria says
I think we do a disservice to our children when we let them quit. Of course I am old school on a lot of things.
Char says
Me too!
Debbie Williams says
Love you advice Char. I agree our greatest character traits are built in those fiery times.
Thanks for the party.
Debbie Putman says
When I taught seventh grade, we did a unit based on an article called What It Takes to Be Great. We showed videos of athletes, musicians, actors, and others who achieved greatness because of their grit. Great points here, Char.
Char says
That sounds like a great lesson for all of us. I love to hear stories behind people’s success- it’s typically quite heroic!
Jen Avellaneda says
The word “Grit” has so been on my heart lately! (Was just about ready to write a post on it too) So thankful for this post that confirms that we need more than “good intentions”, or “positive notionis”, but by grace, through faith, and empowered by His Spirit, we can live life with GRIT! Timely post friend! Thank you!
Char says
I look forward to your post Jen. Grit is something we all need and can hear about from different points of view.
Cheryl says
When I was pursuing my degree, I often, felt like quitting. One thought that helped me to persevere, “if I quit, I will have nothing but student loans”; however, if I persevere, “I will have student loans; however, I will also, have a degree to show for it!” I apply this same psychology with my children, “if you quit, where will you be one year from now verses, if you don’t give up, where will you be one year from now?”
Char says
That perspective and focus is powerful Cheryl. I’m so glad your children can learn from not only your teaching, but your example! You’re a good mama!!
Mandy says
There seems to be an error in your code for the linkup image. Can’t add to my page.
Char says
Hi Mandy,
Thanks for trying to add my button to your site! I tested it and it works if you add it to the “text” menu rather than the “visual” when you are entering it in a post. I will check it out – as I see you probably want to add it to your sidebar. Hmmm…
Lureta says
I was one of those Mom who tried to protect her kids from adversities until I realized that it was adversities that helped build my faith and trust in God.
Char says
It’s natural. I had to fight against the urge and I didn’t always push past it. Especially with the youngest….. :} But he learned grit and I’m so proud of him – despite the times I gave in….
Char says
It’s natural. I had to fight against the urge and I didn’t always push past it. Especially with the youngest….. :} But he learned grit and I’m so proud of him – despite the times I gave in….
Maree Dee says
Love the word “GRIT.” I couldn’t agree with you more. I find I am not a quitter most of the time. But when it comes to goals like doing something that makes you happy every single day. I sure can put that aside. Sharing your post.
Char says
I think valuing our “me” time is important too. That might require a new level of grit!
SUSAN SHIPE says
It was in the fire I learned WHO I WAS. And, WHO I needed!
Char says
Me too Susan… and WHO I am NOT….
Ruth says
This is definitely a timely piece; we don’t hear about this too much these days.
It’s a good life habit to keep jumping the hurdles and trusting God for help to make it through.