Jen glanced up from her textbook just in time to see the entire bookshelf collapse under the pressure of the books. The silence of the library was broken by gasps throughout the room. The librarian shrieked and those closest reached out to help steady the shelves – to no avail. Caught up in the frenzy of the disturbance, Jen held her hand to her mouth as she tried to muffled the giggles which threatened to escape. Turning quickly from the scene, her eyes caught a young man’s glance who was also trying to maintain good library etiquette. Quickly they both made their way through the exit doors bursting into laughter as their feet crossed the threshold.
They had a moment. A connection.
With the internet in our pockets and purses, connectivity is easy. In 2015 the average office worker received 121 emails per day and sent 40 per day. Connecting is easy. We have Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, Linkedin, Google+ and more!!! Imagine: Facebook has approximately 1.18 billion clicks each day!
That’s a bunch of connecting! But…
[bctt tweet=”Connectivity isn’t Connection.” username=”https://twitter.com/TrekkingChar”]
Connecting is easy. But what we long for as people – isn’t connecting – it’s making a connection.
Making connections with others fills our love tanks. Have you heard of a married couple that digressed to feeling like roommates? Living together year after year, they become caught up in the daily routine: Going to work, caring for the children, drop offs, pickups, birthdays, errands, housework, bills – and on and on.
Oh sure, they connect daily, but they fail to make a connection. What’s the difference?
Connecting is:
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Checking in
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Sharing a review or record of what’s happening
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Discussion of issues that need attention and have to be resolved
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Tackling of responsibilities together
Actually, making a connection is more relational.
Making a connection is:
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Sharing with your loved one what’s on your mind
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Listening with your heart and eyes
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Responding to his/her sharing
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Understanding
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Being Authentic and Genuine
When you make a connection with another person your souls meet. And in marriage, we are disappointed when this doesn’t happen regularly. In friendships, if we don’t have that connection – even sparsely – friendships drift.
Keeping the connection in our relationships requires being intentional.
It requires compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. God knows and He longs for us to be in meaningful relationships with each other:
It’s what we long for as humans. We want to share, we want to feel heard, we want to be understood.
Don’t underestimate the role you play. Every day you are involved in relationships that you impact. As we reach out to make an authentic connection with others, we impact them in ways we cannot comprehend. Being connected
Be intentional today. Make a connection (or two)! It’s a skill you can develop….
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
~ Ernest Hemingway
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If you’re a blogger and you’d like to linkup your articles this week please click on the blue button below. Be sure to visit at least two other bloggers and say hello! Let’s use this party to build friendships and encourage one another! Have an amazing week friends!
Michele Morin says
Perfect message for this on-ramp to the holiday hoopla! We’re finding that now as our kids are all busy and growing up, the schedules they bring into our home could separate us and keep us from connecting in meaningful ways as we chase activity after activity. We’re working to be more intentional about saying no to the things that are not essential!
Char says
That balances the top skill to master when the kids are in the house. Good for you for being intentional Michele!
Anita Ojeda says
As an introvert, I struggle to make connections with other people—thanks for the reminder that it’s important AND requires intentionality on my part!
Char says
Me too Anitha. I was thinking about a pocket full of questions to have on hand that would be relevant. And then to practice my listening.
Joanne Viola says
Such a good post for any time of year but especially for this time when we will be with friends and family more. May our times with others be meaningful & intentional.
Char says
Amen Joanne! Connecting is what makes the gatherings so special.
Maree Dee says
Thank you for the reminder about what it means to truly connect with another. Great post.
Gayl says
“Connectivity isn’t connection.” Oh my, how true that is. You’re right, it takes being intentional to really connect with our spouses and friends or other people God brings into our lives. May He help us to be intentional and make sure we are fully engaging with the people in our lives.
Blessings to you, Char! What a great message today!
Char says
Amen! Thanks Gaul!
Patrick Weseman says
That is so very true. I work with people who are what I call technocrats. They pretty much sit around all day and email others about stuff but don’t have any people skills what so ever. Last April, I interviewed for supervisor and said one of my strengths was being able to talk to people and sometimes that is how you learned things. I said even if someone and I were having a beef, I would talk to them about a different subject that we mutually had in common just to keep the lines of communication open. I didn’t get the position and the guy who did has the people’s skills of a lamp post but he can email well.
I am an introvert with serious ADD and sometimes making a connection with me is hard because I seem aloof but I am also listening and observing others. I don’t do idle chit-chat and prefer to get to know people and that scares people.
As my friend’s son wrote for the movie “Creed” :
Rocky Balboa: You can’t learn anything when you’re talking.
Rocky Balboa: That’s a fact of life.
Rocky Balboa: As long as you’re talking, you’re not listening.
I truly believe that.
Thanks for hosting and have a wonderful week.
Char says
I love that Rocky quote! It’s easy to lose our people skills with all the connectivity tempting us constantly. Thanks for taking the time to share Patrick.
Marilyn Lesniak says
Thank you for hosting this opportunity to bring bloggers together and share their posts. I look forward to your party each week. #OverTheMoon #WWBlogHop #ThursdayFavoriteThings
Char says
Thanks for stopping by each week Marilyn. I appreciate your posts!
Crystal says
It’s so easy for me to place connecting at the bottom of my To-Do list, and yet, when I experience that soul-connection with another, I am so filled and reminded that this is God’s plan…always!
Char says
Always!! And we can feed off a good connection for quite a while!
Debbie Putman says
Great distinction between connecting and connection. As an introvert, it’s easy to let connecting superficially on social media make me feel like I’m not isolated. But I need the connection of a close group of true friends (starting with my husband).
Char says
Ditto Debbie. I have to be intentional as it doesn’t come naturally for introverts to reach out.
Lisa notes says
Good catch, Char: there is definitely a difference between connecting and making a connection. I connect over and over all day, but how many times am I making a connection? Good food for thought (and action!).
Char says
Thanks Lisa. The more I think about it, the more i think we need this in our lives. It’s so easy to connect and feel connected…
Donna Reidland says
Great post, Char! My husband and I find it so sad when we spot a “later in life” couple sitting in a restaurant, eating dinner and hardly saying a word … too many years without really connecting. Thanks for reminding us to be intentional about this.
Char says
It is sad Donna, when I see couples not talking.… I turn it into a challenge to keep the conversation interesting with my husband!
Lureta says
Such a great post! This is good practice at all times but Christmas especially can be such a lonely time for so many. May we practice reaching out and truly connecting with someone over the holidays. It could make a huge difference in their life.