From the beginning, our greatest hopes for you were happiness and safety.However, with wisdom comes the understanding that we cannot always keep you happy and safe. You, my beloved son, will become well acquainted with sadness and disappointment in your life.
Because of this truth, my desires and prayers for you are a bit different than they used to be…
A mother’s longings for her son:
Happiness should never be your ultimate goal
Son, unfortunately, our world teaches you that your greatest goal in life should be attaining and keeping your happiness.
Take it from your mama, none of us are guaranteed constant happiness in this life. Entertaining, attaining, and keeping this fickle emotion should never be our greatest goal. Something or someone that makes you happy in a moment can turnabout and make you miserable a moment later.
True joy is something that must enter your heart and sustain you when the simple emotion of happiness is nowhere to be found.
Son, the truth is, that often our happiness will come at the expense of someone else’s. What we do to attain our own happiness in a moment can cost quite a fortune for another.
Remember this my sweet little man, and count the cost.
Be offended and be okay with it.
Our world we live in today has raised being offended to a rather lofty height and praises those that soak in its glory as though they have obtained the most highly sought-after character trait.
My son, in short, there is nothing glorious in being easily offended and shouting it from the rooftops.
You will be offended.
You will offend.
I pray the latter will be unintentional. Nevertheless, it will happen.
And for the former, my hope is that you choose to extend grace, knowing the great grace that has been extended to you. When we live as grace givers we live peacefully. Bitterness thrives in the heart of those easily offended and unlikely to forgive, constantly aiming to even the score. Strive, rather, my boy, to forgive and allow the peace of the Greatest Grace Giver to guide and direct your steps.
We never know what battles other souls may be facing. So seek to understand rather than be understood and give others room to speak their hearts. While giving others grace to make mistakes, remember to give it to yourself as well.
You are not perfect and neither is the rest of the world.
Kindness is the greatest goal.
“When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kindness. ” Dr. Wayne Dyer
Your kindness is my greatest concern these days. I will have more pride should one soul sing your praises due to the kindness you have shown them, as opposed to the entire world speaking your name on their lips.
My dear son, you must strive to put others above yourself, simply because this does not come naturally to our human hearts. We, instead, aim to be first. As humans, we will do almost anything to allow our ego the stretching room it wants and love the satisfaction that comes from being put in the spotlight.
An honorable and true character is allowing others to be center stage and humbling oneself before proving how right you are.
Kindness is truly an art form; venture to make it your life long goal to master.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted… ” Eph 4:32
They had been with Jesus
“Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognize that they had been with Jesus. ” Acts 4:13
If there is only one thing you remember from all I have told you, remember this:
Live as though they know you have been with Jesus.
For others to see that you have been with Jesus, you actually need to spend time with him.
Spend time with the Lover of your Soul; He is the giver of unending joy that can override the fickleness of happiness. He is the ultimate teacher in being unoffended and spreading kindness to all you encounter. He is also the greatest giver of grace and asks us to extend it to others.
Of course, my boy, I will still pray for happiness, health, and safety for you. But more so, I will continue to pray for a true an honorable character when the world throws its worst at you. Do not seek, therefore, to avoid the inevitable places of hurt. Rather, embrace the grace that is given freely and lavishly to meet these challenges of life head-on.
Today’s post was written by Susan Mcilmoil from Carry On My Heart
Susan is a wife and a mother to three sons who loves the outdoors, her garden, hiking and DIY projects. She has a passion to encourage others to push through difficult times which you’ll notice throughout in her heartfelt writing.
Be sure to visit her blog at:CarryOnMyHeart.com
You’ll be glad you did!!
Joanne Viola says
Wonderful post and thought for us all – “Live as though they know you have been with Jesus.” May I live like this each and every day!
Char says
Me too Joanne! Have a great week!
Lisa notes says
These are beautiful words of wisdom, Susan. And good advice for all of us, at any age. “Kindness is truly an art form; venture to make it your life long goal to master.” Amen.
susan says
Thank you, Lisa! Absolutely agree, it’s something we all have to strive to master, no matter our age.
Lauren Sparks says
Beautiful words of wisdom. laurensparks.net
Tammy Kennington says
Such beautifully penned, wise words! Thanks for sharing.
Tammy-(mama to 3 young men, ages 15-23)
Char says
Oh! I see you have three boys also. I loved Susan‘s words of wisdom and insight to!
susan says
Oh, Tammy, you can relate! I have 3 boys, 9-16—16 this week actually! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post.
nylse says
I have prayed this pray (not these exact words, obviously) for my son. I’ve prayed that he doesn’t get sucked into the culture’s views of manhood. To be in the world but not of the world. And I’ve prayed that he lives like he spent time with Jesus.
Amazingly, I’ve seen these answers and more in his life. Life is not without struggle but knowing who Jesus makes the struggle manageable.
As a black mother of a black son, the burden seems greater because it seems like our sons are targets. So I’ve learned sometimes the only thing I can do is pray. Having children has increased my faith.
susan says
Nylse, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I am learning to give my fears to my God every day—it’s hard because I sure love control. It is encouraging to hear that you have seen answers in your son’s life from your prayers. I love when that happens!
Patrick Weseman says
Very beautiful letter. You give me a lot of ideas on things I can do with my kids who are in their early 20’s. Thanks.
Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.
Laurie says
Love this – no one is guaranteed happiness. We are each responsible for our own!
Char says
How true that is. And so we seek a greater joy….
susan says
That is so very true Laurie!
Patricia says
You share such wisdom in these beautiful letters. Every word is true – especially praying for grace during times of challenge. Our tendency is to run from pain, but it is in the struggle that we grow. Thank you for sharing these letters!
Char says
Thanks Patricia! This week it was Susan’s wisdom – I knew everyone would be blessed by her sharing!
susan says
Patricia, that is something I am reminded of over and over again, we grow IN the struggle and God’s grace is apparent IN the pain. We fight so hard to not feel the pain when that is often where we see Him the most clearly. Thank you for your comment.
Donna Reidland says
Susan, what a powerful message! So much truth here. Pinning and sharing.
Susan says
Thank you, Donna!
Maree Dee says
“Live as though they know you have been with Jesus.” I love it. Pinned it.
Beautiful letter to your son.
Susan says
Thank you so much, Maree!
Marilyn says
Congratulations! Your post was my feature pick at #WWBlogHop this week. Visit me at https://www.marilynstreats.com on Tuesday evening to see your feature! All hosts choose their own features from the comments left on their blog so be sure to stop by and see your feaure. I invite you to leave more links to be shared and commented upon. Please be sure to leave your link number or post title so we can be sure to visit!
Char says
Thanks Marilyn!