Last week when I was watching the news I was encouraged by a story filled with hope. A young man had been in a horrific accident where he lost his ability to walk…yet through technology, effort and determination, he was walking after a year. It was a tear-jerker for sure as he carried his baby through the hospital hallways on the way to his car! I can’t even begin to imagine his mindset when he realized for the first time that he couldn’t walk. Of course the story didn’t reveal all the details of his struggles – mentally or physically – as it was a quick story.
But, it got me thinking……
What if we lost our ability to walk? Or the ability to do the things that make up who we are? Though you might be known as a lightning fast sprinter or a creative chef – those skills aren’t really who you are. They are descriptions of what you can do (and quite well, I might add!). Your abilities.
You are not your abilities. They’re part of you, but they do not define you.
Your abilities are simply your skills, your talents, or proficiency in an area.
Who you are is the person on the inside that you take everywhere you go…. who desires to help others and listens to friends without judging. Those are the genuine characteristics that make up who you are known to be. Not your abilities. Abilities are something that can be lost in a split second, a fluke, a tragedy.
I bet the young man on the news had to separate his abilities from who he was every day of his life after the accident. I can’t imagine how difficult that would be. You know me well enough to know that I rely a bit too heavily on accomplishments. So…this letter isn’t just for you! 😉 One day you’ll see – when you’re a parent you learn A LOT more than you think you will as you teach your kiddos!
With that in mind, let’s talk about how to separate abilities from your true identity. You’re talking to yourself all day long every day. Is it positive or negative? Is it insecurities or confidence? The bottom line is: What you believe about yourself is paramount for your happiness, your joy, your relationships and the direction of your life. What are you listening to? Are you listening to what God says about you: you are valuable, you are loved, you are worthy? Or are you listening to those that don’t have your best interest at heart?
What do you believe about yourself? This is something you really need to answer. If you don’t, your thoughts can run your life and you’re probably not even sure what they are. Think about what you’re thinking about.
One thing I haven’t modelled very well for you is self-care. It’s important to allow yourself to spend time nurturing who you are – just like when you train for a race. It takes time to change a mindset or develop a skill. Sometimes when we don’t naturally believe in ourselves, we need to practice, meditate, and focus on changing our thoughts/beliefs. When we don’t believe in ourselves we make decisions based on fear. Not only that, it’s hard to live our dreams when we’re living out of fear.
So I want to encourage you; the more comfortable you are in your own skin, the more comfortable you are in life and the more people will accept you. Because you are genuine. Authentic. Spend time nurturing YOU. Spend time with those that value you.
I’m guessing no one in your life has believed in you more than your mom 🙂 … And sometimes, oh sometimes when you’re unsure about your value or your worth – it’s helpful to receive other people’s belief in you so that you can walk down the path of believing in yourself. God gives moms a deep unconditional love for their children that mimics His – I think because we all need someone to root us on. I’ll always be that for you!
I love you dearly,
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Crystal Twaddell says
Love, Love this!!! This lesson is one of the best lessons we can teach our children, to be comfortable with who they are and whose they are!
Char says
That’s where they have true value. Thanks for stopping by Crystal!
Anita Ojeda says
What a timely reminder, even if I’m not a kid any more! As we grow older, our physical abilities diminish. But they aren’t me!
Char says
That’s so true- it’s difficult when we loose abilities…
Michele Morin says
We need to preach this truth to our own hearts so we will be modeling it for our kids in real life! Thanks, Char!
Char says
Amen!
Patrick Weseman says
That is so super cool. Love it. Thanks for sharing it. Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.
Lisa notes says
This is good advice for any of us, at any age: “You are not your abilities. They’re part of you, but they do not define you.” I thank God for this truth, Char! I don’t want to be defined by my skills OR my lack thereof. 🙂
Lauren Sparks says
I am so loving having a back seat to the wisdom you are passing on. laurensparks.net
Laurie says
Wow! Did I need to hear this story THIS week! I have nothing so tragic as an accident that took away my ability to walk – just an injury that caused me to run a race more slowly than I usually do. I needed the reminder that I am not just my running ability. I am a daughter of God, beloved for no other reason other than His grace. Thank you for the valuable reminder!
Char says
Yay! Good for you Laurie! Hang in there while you recover.
Maree Dee says
What great advice to nurture yourself. I too have not modeled self-care very well. I am all about accomplishment. I do know the value, and I am setting out to add a little bit of that into my life. Thank you for your post. Maree
Patricia says
Your post today is vital. I remember my son once told me, “If I’m ever paralyzed, I would want to die.” We are so much more than our physical abilities!
Thank you for sharing!
Char says
Often it’s challenging for us to differentiate abilities versus who we really are. I understand your son’s thoughts but I bet he’d surprise himself and overcome in a tough situation like that.