You may think it a bit strange to have your mom write you this letter, but as a mom I care deeply about every aspect of your life. I care enough to talk about the tough topics, and respectfully, without invading your privacy. But I want you to know my heart.
As a young man, there are countless images coming at you as you walk through your “normal” day. The internet and all the pop-ups, advertisements in the sidebars, billboards as you drive, magazines as you check out, TV shows, movies, and commercials, even your cell phone..
How does a young man stay focused and pure? How do you fight the good fight? It’s clearly a tough battle. The more you look around, the more you see…
As sure as God has a plan for your life, the enemy has a plan for your life. It’s been said one of the enemy’s greatest attributes is that he is patient. He will wait and wait and wait…. He has no problem in waiting until you vulnerable. You see, he wants to steal something from you. When you’re tired, when you’re alone, when you’re lonely, when you care a little too much what your friend thinks….
Pornography is one of those areas that he has a plan for your life. If he can distort your view of sexuality and the beauty of what God created it to be – he will. And with most young men, he can.
Think about it….
- He can mess up your self worth – as you look at porn and feel ashamed that you “did it”.
- He can mess with your future as you don’t feel worthy to fulfill your dreams
- He can mess with your marriage as you take those images into your marriage – and your wife has to compete with them (consciously or subconsciously)
Think about this…
God created sexuality for many reasons. It is a beautiful expression of love between a man and his wife. In the act of lovemaking, God ordained a way of creating a baby that could expand the natural progression of the love relationship.
Pornography is anything that distorts God’s original intention of sex. First off, God’s plan is for sex to be between a man and his wife. It is meant to be beautiful, full of love and intamacy. Anything else is called fornication. It’s cheap and explicitly warned against in the bible. Why? To make us frumpy, miserable? So we’re not cool?
No, just like any other command God gives – the command to only have sex after marriage is to protect us…from heartbreaks, from soul ties (that are formed when two people have sex), from disease, to protect the illegitimate child from hardship/shame, etc., and so that we might experience the fullness of marital love. It is a beautiful gift.
The enemy would love you to believe that sex outside of marriage and porn, even soft porn, is cool – it’s okay. “Friends” who are into porn or sex, usually try to coerce others into doing the same – as I’m sure yours are today. In a way, it makes them feel better about what they are doing. That’s part of the enemy’s plan. Don’t you see? When one of your friends is doing something ungodly – they usually try to get you to join in… And if you don’t – they don’t give up! They keep at you…. (btw – is that a friend?! Are you so afraid of being lonely that you call them your friends?)
Porn takes the beautiful body that God created and turns it into a sensual, self-satisfying, toy. Read that sentence again…. Porn takes the beautiful body that God created and turns it into a sensual, self-satisfying, toy. It cheapens the beauty of his creation.
Think about the original plan: God made something amazingly beautiful and sensual. He blesses it, and us, to enjoy sex in marriage, and the beauty of the bodies he created, and then on top of that – creates a child in the process! How amazing! Sex in marriage isn’t a self-seeking, self-satisfying act – instead it’s an amazing act of love.
Pornography doesn’t reflect any of that. In fact, it distorts God’s generous plan. It wants to distort it – because the enemy wants to mess with your present (and have you live in shame and sensual addictions), your future (your marriage and your bond with your wife), and your past (as you try to escape the images you’ve seen). It is visions and images that chip away at you.
You’re an amazing young man. With an amazing future. Take control. There is a God who can help you every step of the way. He is the true friend. When others lead you in a direction you don’t want to go – you are not alone. There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother – Jesus.
Let Him walk with you, keep you company – when you chose the high road and your “friends” mock you. Call on Him and He will be there.
I’m here too!
With all my love,