Oh! I just had to write you about your swim meet – you swam your best times ever! And even though it was raining, you were sunny and bright! What impressed me the most was that (even though you loved winning the races you won) you cared just as much that you had beat your own times in the races you lost! That’s a great attitude!
Competition is a funny thing. And right now, I am so proud of how you handle it. I know you were ecstatic about winning your races, but perhaps because you are a swimmer you’re able to appreciate the most important thing is to be YOUR personal best. And you beat all your previous race times! WOOHOO!!!!
When you were little…I’m not sure who thought this was a good idea…but in Little League – all the players ended up getting a trophy. For Most Valuable Player, Most Improved, Best Attitude, Never Missed a Practice, etc., etc. Players got trophies for any made-up category the coach could think of! I think the idea was that “Giving everyone a trophy will make them feel valuable.” What it did was make kids and parents afraid of competition.
Yet, competition can be one of the best motivators a person can encounter.
Competition can be healthy or unhealthy. You always want to check your motives…that’s where the difference is.
Healthy competition is an environment where you see your potentials and abilities, you set goals, and you create stress to inspire you to achieve those goals.
Generally, we need resistance to grow – a good challenge. A healthy stresser is actually good and can cause you to reach within yourself and push farther than you think you can go. That’s what competition can be – a healthy stresser (is that even a word?!).
Think about when you lift weights at the gym. When you increase your resistance, you actually break down your body which, in turn, builds muscle and makes you stronger than you were before. The same is true with healthy competition and stress.
Remember how tired you were when you trained for the 200 yard freestyle? You swam miles to strengthen your body, yet initially you were exhausted – until your body rose to the challenge and became stronger. That’s the type of competition that is healthy. When you set a worthy goal and work with all your might to accomplish it. This one skill will carry you through many obstacles throughout your life. As your mom, I’m glad you’re seeing the value of competing with your own personal goals at such a young age.
Many people think competition is not a good thing for children because it makes them feel bad especially when they don’t win. However, everyone is good at something and finding what you are good at usually requires some stress and pushing through difficult times. Rarely do I see a child that walks on the first try or hits the ball with the first pitch.
Now listen carefully… Competition is not Comparison! It’s easy to confuse the two…and as you get older it will be tempting to get caught up in comparison instead of healthy competition.
Comparison is unhealthy competition where we are comparing our Behind the Scene Self with the In the Spotlight highlights of another person’s life. What looks like a charmed life could really be a life that you would never wish for. By the nature of what it is, comparison always produces an insecurity. Even if you’ve decided that you are “Better than the other person” – you will have in your mind that you should try to keep up with an image of who you think someone is – not reality.
Comparison always leaves someone miserable. Either you or the other person. I encourage you to continue to create challenges for yourself and rise above them by competing with personal goals for yourself. Even competitions with others is fine – but genuinely celebrate when they beat you. Their success can spur yours and vice-versa. Resist comparison. It’s tough!
You are brave and courageous at a young age. As you grow, I pray you continue to strive for excellence in all you do – like you do in swimming. What a wonderful precedent you’re setting for yourself! Continue to stretch and grow and remember that whatever you do, God has planted talents and passions within you that only you can accomplish in your personal way. Go for it!
I’m cheering for you!
With all my love,
If you’d like to linkup your articles, please be sure to visit other great bloggers along the way! There are amazing writers in the party!
Boma says
Competition is not comparison. And, check your motives! We need to remember these things more. Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you.
Char says
It’s a good reminder for me too.
Laurie says
What a great lesson to teach a child – competition is not comparison. If I ran only races I thought I could win, I would never run at all. I run for the joy of running, the fellowship of other runners, the experience, and the challenge. I will sing the praises of running to anyone who will listen! 🙂
Char says
I love your passion Laurie! So many people avoid trying new ventures because they feel they will fail. I’ve had to learn to set personal goals and not compare. Wins are possible at every level.
Anita Ojeda says
Great advice, Char! When we give everyone a trophy for effort, we diminish the accomplishments of those who realaly worked hard to accomplish a goal. If Thomas Edison’s teacher had given him a trophy for his first efforts at inventing a light bulb, we would have sat around in the dark a lot longer 😉.
Char says
Great point Anita. We need some healthy stumbles to motivate us along to try something a little different!
Michele Morin says
I love sports that emphasize self-improvement and beating your own personal records. One of my sons was (and still is) a runner and cyclist, and he’s very focused on that, and I try to assimilate his mindset for my own efforts, whether it’s my quivering seconds in a plank, or the “results” and impact of my writing.
Char says
Me too Michele. I have a friend that told me her husband’s goal in Crossfit is simply to beat his previous record. Of course some positive peer pressure and competition is motivating.. but his goals are personal. So healthy.
Lauren Sparks says
I’m learning about healthy competition from my 13 year old. She is so much better at it than i am! laurensparks.net
Char says
We can learn a lot from our children!! I love those lessons. Humbling but so effective!
Maree Dee says
I love your words competition is not comparison. I think a good dose of healthy competition is good.
Lisa notes says
“Competition is not Comparison!” What a great insight, Char. We often substitute one for the other, but they are definitely different things.
Char says
It’s easy to compare as we compete!
Donna Reidland says
Sports can develop so many good character qualities when they are approached with the right attitudes. Thanks again for this series and for hosting!